Relaxer + hair highlighting = extremely bad, or just bad...?

I'm 12 years old and in 6th grade.


I've been getting my hair relaxed with Dark %26amp; Lovely since 3rd grade, so now my hair is straight instead of its nappy, curly self (unless I get it wet with water if its raining..then it becomes a foot and a half wide poof)


I want to get my hair highlighted also, NOT DYED. HIGHLIGHTED. I want like, maybe red, or really really light brown highlights.


My mom said no because its too expensive to get relaxed and highlights, because of the frequency of touch-ups, and its like, $175 if I do both, which she doesn't want to have to spend every 3 months.


She also said no because its extremely bad for my hair and it'll break and fall off.


I know relaxers have chemicals that can strip your hair of essential nutrients/moisture/whatever and that it really dries your hair out.


I know that coloring does the same, and you can be allergic to natural coloring, like with violet.


And, that I'd have to deep condition really often, I already have to atleast every 2Relaxer + hair highlighting = extremely bad, or just bad...?
I think you should listen to you mom. She right to a certain point when she says your not a white girl. Trust me i know how annoy this can be. my mom says it to me too. I'm 15 but last year i had a phase where i wanted to die the ends of my hair red ( my hair is relaxed) but i asked my parents and they both said no. I was soooooo upset! but i told alot of my friends i wanted to do it. and guess what? they ended up doing it to their hair!!! i was so shocked and UPSET! but i was kinda glad i didn't do it because one of my friends hair got really damaged and her ends got trashy (she's filipino) my other friend her hair looks ORANGE now (she's black) and i just got over it bc i'm not a follower so once they did it i was like scrap dat! lol yes they bit my style but what can i do?





anyways back to your question. Personally i think you started relaxing your hair too young. but thats my opinion please don;t get upset. I just say this because if your hair isn;t cared for it's more prone to damage and breaking than an older black woman with relaxed hair. I wouldn;t recommend anyone perming their hair that is younger than 13. but anyways its done , let me move on. I don;t think you should highlight it because you;ve already relaxed your hair at such an early age, give yourself some time to grow up (cause your only in grade 6) experience other things in life, focus on being a kid/pre-teen. Trust me i've heard this ALOT too it can get annoying! but i say this bc i feel like i can sorta relate to you. Think about it if you do everything while your young you'll get bored later on in life. Cause you would have already done everything! Also its not good to relax and colour or highlight your hair in the same day!! it can damage your hair soooooo much! so don;t do it. If i were you i'd just try strengthing my hair more maybe growing your hair if you want, but as far as highlighting or colouring leave that for when you get older. Stick to deep conditioning your hair thats good. As far as your friend even tho she;s white NO person should dye or highlight their hair very often. Although white people have stronger hair than us their hair is STILL prone to damage.





anyways hope this helps and i hope you take my advice..





sorry this is soo long! but it really feel like i can relate





:)Relaxer + hair highlighting = extremely bad, or just bad...?
Really bad if you use a bleach solution for your hightlights. Check if it has hydrogen peroxide or peroxide in it. You can lighten hair somewhat w/o bleaching which would be better for it. I would just relax it for now, and then see if you still want to color, and make sure you use something gentle to color it.
its not that bad, but watch how often you use it. you can fry your hair and it will fall out
ya, like what the person said above me...





your hair will fall out.
You will literally probably go bald. Sorry.
Don't use it that often especially because you're 12..


Your hair will really get too dry!!!!!
extremely bad for a 12 yo. Since 3rd grade! Your hair is gonna dry out and fall out in high school!!
Honey you are gonna have to prove to your mom that you are responsible enough to do what it takes in order to take care of your hair. As a mom of a 12 year old, I would look for you to do some research on your hair on line to see what that may do to the type of hair you have. Even as African Americans, we all still have different hair. Ask a couple of beauticians so that you can make a good decision about this. Show your mom that you want to make an educated decision and she may be impressed by that. Also, if it is going to cost more that she spends already, maybe you can let her know that you are willing to earn that money!! Present all of this to her and let her know that you are going to be responsible with this choice and she may very well be willing to reconsider. Before you approach her just ask her to have an open mind to what you are going to be saying to her and that you really need her to listen. This will definitely get her attention and help her to realize just how much this means to you and that you are not being a follower, but a leader!! Good luck honey, best wishes, and stay beautiful!!
Um, I stopped after you said you are in the 6th grade and started when you were in 3rd. You do know that if you continue, you are most probably going to be bald by the age of 21...It might only be highlights, but it's still all crap. The less you put the better. Dying your hair for no reason, especially when you are your age, and mine too because I am not that much older, is not good. It's expensive and a waste of time. I would leave my hair alone if I were you.
Sweetie you are way to young to be dying your hair... seriously that's really tacky to have highlights in your hair at that age... no matter what your friend does... take it from me... i once went behind my mothers back and did highlights when I was 14 and thought it looked great but then realized what stupid decision it was.


And yes it will damage your hair way more than getting it relaxed. And highlights just like any dye means you have to upkeep it... once it starts growing out you need to get it done agian and again... or you'll just have a head that's half one color.


Plus if you have dark hair I say keep it that way. I think it's awful when dark haired girls get highlights... Women shoould only use dye in their hair if it is going to look natural... like light haired girls get lighter highlights and red heads get red highlights etc. Be glad you have a beautiful natural dark hair don't mess it up with other colors... if you want to have a little fun just get those little hair extensions at the beauty store to put on for the night... That way you won't have to deal with roots and damaging your hair more...


Please trust me...


Hope this helped
i have had relaxers since i was twelve or so. i'm 18 now. anyway earlier I dyed my hair with an at-home kit (it was like... a month or few ago)





it was ok, but it's not like i'm redying it (it is growing out now, hehe)





anyway I just had a relaxer this weekend my hair is ok.





i don't think it will be too bad as long as you take care of it and you space the treatments out
Wow, I can't believe you mother said that to you about not having ';white-girl-hair';! I am white, but my hair is very curly naturally and can get nappy if I'm not careful. I also known some people of African-descent don't have really kinky hair, just curly.





Well, where to begin.





To save on money, there are kits you can buy from the department store that you can do highlights with at home (best to have a trusted friend help you). If you do put highlights in at home, I'd suggest just putting them in on the top layer to experiment, and if it goes well, put them through the rest of your hair. You don't need to have tons of highlights either, many girls who go to salons actually only put in some at a time, then when they go back, they put in more.





I thought relaxors actually didn't hurt your hair that much, so it's suprising to hear it. I've read from some websites that certain relaxors do so little to your hair, that you can even perm or dye it right after.





I looked at the Dark %26amp; Lovely products, and it looks like they have relaxors that will help keep your hair in good shape. (Look for the boxes that say ';No-Lye';)





Hair can get damaged and fall off if you overdye it, but putting in some highlights shouldn't do that. Also, does your mother know that the average human head loses 100 strands of hair everyday and naturally? Also, since you already deep condition your hair (and it sounds like you take good care of it), your hair is probably in a good enough condition to highlight it.





My best advice would be to talk to a beautician in a salon who either has your hair type, or has worked with your hair type before, they'd be able to give you the best tips. Always remember, advice from a beautician in a salon is free!